An Updated Tax Write-Off Worksheet, by the Nosiest Employee at the IRS
Did you receive Venmo payments from your ex (Handle @MattDereklol46) AFTER you broke up on July 23, 2021?
Tag: Featured
Introducing the Sam Super Loyalty Card
So wait, I can’t meet with you/speak to you/copulate with you without a loyalty card? Unfortunately not!
Please Help, I’m Still Street Punk #5
Being stuck in character as STREET PUNK #5 for almost forty years has caused me more than a bit of grief.
I’m Arctic Shipwreck Survivor Stranded with an Annoying Show-off Asshole
During my second dinner, Francis told me that we needed to “ration our food better.” I was so taken aback by this.
As Your Virtual Doctor, I Can’t Give You the Results of Your Brain Surgery Until You Smash That “Like” Button
Patients need to smash that so my bosses can track the popularity of this service, which will result in more financial support from our advertisers.
How to Tell If That Guy Who Desperately Needs a Kidney Like-Likes You
He asks you about yourself, things like, “Can you give me a kidney?” and, “So how’s about that kidney?”
As the Escaped Felon Hiding in Your Attic, I’m Deeply Concerned About Your Marriage
I was awoken by the sounds of you two screaming at each other. People make less noise being shanked in the shower.
Questions I Had While Attending My Second Basketball Game, After My First Basketball Game Was the One That Air Bud Played In
How many fouls does each player get? Do dogs get the same number of fouls? How much longer until the dogs come out?
Meet the Harlem Globetrotters of Redacted Documents!
Did You Know? "Stress Ball" is indirectly responsible for the death of ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛!
Fact or Myth? Setting the Record Straight on Miles Davis
Statement: Miles Davis’ career led to the discovery of acoustic soft-beach rocker Jack Johnson. Ruling: Myth. Again, no.
I Will Bravely Die in a Roman Arena, but Please Don’t Make Me Say “I’m Spartacus” in Front of a Crowd
I just get so nervous, so convinced that I'll reverse "beaten" and "bound," or forget to say "by the sword," and all the guys will laugh at me.
Farm to Table. Table to Fork. Fork to Mouth. Food to Throat. Air to Throat. Hands to Chest. Hands to Chest. Hands to Chest.
Car to driveway. Food to house. Hour to hour. Day to day. Week to week. Month to month. Smell to food. Food to dumpster and so on.