I Was Going to Do Dry January But Then I Was Kidnapped by a Band of Pirates
I’m disappointed in myself for not finishing Dry January (and for raiding Tortuga), but now I have new friends and I learned how to load a powder keg.
Tag: Wrestling
Six Ways I Want Dwanye “The Rock” Johnson to Crush Me
In a handshake between him and a fellow Ballers star. Dwayne would gently cradle you in his palm before pressing you into the hand of Rob Corddry.
The Thunder in Paradise: Poems Created From Interviews With Hulk Hogan, Part 5
I was praying to God that maybe the reality show / would give my marriage more net worth / and make my partner feel like she had a purpose in life.
The Thunder in Paradise: Poems Created From Interviews With Hulk Hogan, Part 4
They had to drilla f**king holein my face!
The Thunder in Paradise: Poems Created From Interviews With Hulk Hogan, Part 3
get red-hot,/a white meat babyface/I would always tease him/by calling him “Broccoli”/even if it made things worse./There was always that hope
The Thunder in Paradise: Poems Created From Interviews With Hulk Hogan, Part 2
fast-forward/the perfect storm./America was at conflict with Iran/Iraq/the political situation/between the countries./between good vs. evil.
If Bachelorette Contestants Were Burger King Menu Items
100% white meat between a mayonnaise-soaked bun, this Trump-supporter gets drunk off vodka cranberries and admits that he’s never met a black person.
The Thunder in Paradise: Poems Created From Interviews With Hulk Hogan
I mean, dude, it's laid back, all this beautiful atmosphere and peace. But things are definitely moving in the right direction for me, thank god.
My Surreal Childhood Bullies
An examination of the lasting damage that can occur when your grade school bullies are influenced by Salvador Dali.
I Don’t Know If I Should Start Watching Game of Thrones, Or If I Should Let George R.R. Martin Out of This Chokehold
I don't get what the big deal is about this "once-in-a-generation phenomenon." How good could it really be? Also, should I kill George R.R. Martin?