Open Letter to the Guy I’ve Been Dating in My Mind for 18 Months
I asked you on a date in my head and pretend-you said yes. This confirmed it; you are a kind-hearted guy who can see the potential in me.
I asked you on a date in my head and pretend-you said yes. This confirmed it; you are a kind-hearted guy who can see the potential in me.
Negative and disgusting things you should save until at least the second date, if you're lucky enough to get that far.
When we look at Campbell's emotionally advanced AI, all we see is a faulty machine with a short attention span that never brings its knights out.
If you do purchase a star on Star Registry for your wife, don’t tell her you named it Cougar15 because she's a cougar and you’ve been married for 15 years.
As I picked up the box of cookies, I imagined a world where everyone thought it was okay to leave items they didn’t want anymore wherever they please.
I have communication issues? That's funny because in the eyes of the University of Illinois School of Communications, I am a master of communication.
Some can't sleep well if their partner can’t decide whether to be the big spoon, or the little spoon, or maybe to just not touch you at all.
trump: jeff if you hang up on me i will have to talk directly to your— (jeff bezos hangs up)
Okay, I know there’s “a lot” of blood. Yes, I know it’s all over the wool carpeting we had installed last week.
Fortnite has taught me that silence is an effective strategy. And my new best bros, FragStewie_247 and BonerTauntz agree.
2. How does Iago describe jealousy? "The green-eyed monster" or "Our neighbor Brad's stupid, big muscles?"
I speculate that these images date back to the early 2010s, based on the woman’s dramatic side bangs and orange tribal body painting.