How DARE This Fellow Grindr User Ask Me “How Are You?”
Can I please just host this disco sex party in peace, without the dread of a Grindr message like, "Is there a face to go with your torso?"
Can I please just host this disco sex party in peace, without the dread of a Grindr message like, "Is there a face to go with your torso?"
"Pam I think Mark is at this party??" I typed as I moved in on his doppelganger. "Does he still wear the shirt I bought him 4 christmas?????"
Ladies, seriously? I did not anticipate that your skillsets would change because you did not want to be in a group with "that bitch."
What is it that makes your group so intractable, yet everybody wants to talk about you? Why is it so hard to figure out how old you people are?
The Super Bowl is on the horizon, or so you've been told, and it seems to have importance. Should you sit through this tradition?
I saw your Craigslist ad about needing a date to your office holiday party. Here's more about me and why you should take me as your plus one!
With famous parents, you have the advantage of not needing to beat around the bush and pretend to be considerate of their feelings; you can just ask them for a job!
Dear Make-A-Wish Foundation, I've recently been given three weeks to live. Because I am 12 and have not yet experienced a bachelor party, here is my list of requests.
Why is it that hanging out with your childhood best friend now feels like small-talking with the lady at the supermarket who complains about her allergies?
Just because you never hear these things in college doesn't mean they aren't true. Especially the parts about cheating, masturbation, and taking advantage of helpless animals.
I know I've been the best selling erotica author for the past decade, but Diane has been up my ass lately, and Billy is almost four now. Time to move away from lust.
Just last Thursday I was entertaining over 50,000 guests at my bi-weekly “Salute to Bear Traps,” which was meant to be just a fun, casual, and accident-free celebration. Oops.