Mark My Words, If You Don’t Finish This Last Job, I’m Going to Kill You and Everyone You Love
Your parents’ casual acquaintances, who they always promise to make plans with but never do. Your parents’ parents, if they’re like, still around.
Your parents’ casual acquaintances, who they always promise to make plans with but never do. Your parents’ parents, if they’re like, still around.
It's truly killing me that our family's goals for next year don't seem to include your position and your services will no longer be needed here.
Press mute on unsettling thoughts like this by turning up the volume on a new pair of Beats by Dr. Dre.
Seriously, I cannot keep having these sales, because the last guy just bought a bajillion mattresses and we had no idea what to do with them.
A gap year will help to make me the man I want to be. Unless you are planning to hire me, in which case: STOP READING. GIVE ME THE JOB.
“Yo! You must be the new year!?” said 2020, seeming to come out of nowhere. “Welcome to Calendar Corp."
We will reach out to you if your qualifications meet our needs. / We will reach out to you if your needs are met by your parents.
"When was the last time you worked?" Well, technically, as the Messiah, I am always working. But as a carpenter, I worked about three months ago.
A slew of multiple-choice questions that are, at best, only tangentially related to your actual performance or knowledge in a professional capacity.
“Chris,” I said, as a family of five wiped their shoes on his face. “What’re you doing here?” “Muhughuh,” he said, spitting out a piece of dogshit.
Are you happy with the cleanliness of your carpets even with an assistant that doesn’t ask visitors to wipe their feet when they come in?
The experience of being diagnosed with a serious condition that causes me to pass out a lot has turned me into a natural leader.