Join the Gentleman’s Club
A quick moment to describe my surroundings: Chateau Gentleman is a leathery affair. Everything you could possibly imagine could be embroidered is so.
Tag: Hair
Things That Used to Be Fun in High School, But Aren’t Anymore
In order to experience that again, I had to erase my first kiss. I tracked down any record or indication that Julie Wexler ever walked the Earth.
I Was Going to Do Dry January But Then I Was Kidnapped by a Band of Pirates
I’m disappointed in myself for not finishing Dry January (and for raiding Tortuga), but now I have new friends and I learned how to load a powder keg.
The Future of Offices: Dirt Floors with No Furniture
It’s part of a system called “Symbiotic Habitation via Environmental Design,” or SHED. It’s also called SHED because it’s basically just a shed.
A Day in the Life of a Maroon 5 Member Who is Not Adam Levine
9:07 PM: You wonder if you were actually the one who made the comment about the band name and have been replaced by an Adam Levine. You’re not sure.
I Finally Snuck Into the Penguin Enclosure
I am the only one with fingers, so I have the job of breaking sticks in two and putting them in a pile. I have also been designated a “performer.”
It’s Me, the Female Protagonist in a Television Melodrama, and No, I Don’t Think My Estranged Father is Here to Con Me
I arrived home to my apartment, fresh groceries in hand (despite the fact that I am never seen cooking, talking about food, or eating).
Bob Mueller Can’t Tell Anybody He Completed “Twisted Metal 2” in Record Time
I really can't tell anybody this part but I doubt I will ever feel a pride as strong as when I watched Minion explode in front of Mr. Grimm's bike.
My [24m] Girlfriend [24f] is Leaving Me for a Brooklyn Alternative Comic [40fuckingloser]
He just pretended to make a phone call where he was trying to return a Blockbuster VHS, for twenty minutes. My girlfriend was laughing so hard.
Bergman’s of Sweden: The Existential Diner
Look in vain for a menu, it is torn and stained with tears. There are no specials, ever, only monotonous offerings of tasteless food.