Your Deductive Reasoning Is Ruining This Brunch, Mr. Holmes
Your constant, unprovoked deductive reasoning is making the other guests uncomfortable. There is no mystery, Holmes. Just mimosas.
Your constant, unprovoked deductive reasoning is making the other guests uncomfortable. There is no mystery, Holmes. Just mimosas.
Thanks to you, our novel species of intelligent beings may roam these brown leather lands and pray to the red flannel ass above.
Skeleton: Awakening (Note on the musical score) “I don’t think the nipples would change the xylophone tone in that way.”
If you do purchase a star on Star Registry for your wife, don’t tell her you named it Cougar15 because she's a cougar and you’ve been married for 15 years.
The new NYC system utilizes colors corresponding to varying degrees of air pollution emergencies, each color representing the air smell of the day.
Rejecting the opportunity to Google duck penises all night on the internet just to have sex with someone is a slap in the face to Bill Gates.
The fifth graders got their way with the mayor, and it was a sad day to see the "Welcome to Cherry Hill" sign knocked down in favor of one that reads "Fart Town. Population: P.U."
If you get stuck in a pose and you know you can't get out of it without queefing, simply stay in that pose for the rest of eternity.
Seven ways to use your God-given ability to produce weaponized shitclouds for personal satisfaction and enjoyment in the workplace.
At 29, I am convinced that farts are just as humorous as they were when my father first asked me to pull his finger. May your sense of smell remain just as light-hearted.
Looks like your boyfriend caught wind of your poor bedside manners. Now's a good time to blow hard on his weather vane.