So, You Thought You Could Just Buy That Thrift Store Jacket Without Consequences? You Fool!
Did you consider that maybe the cookie-cake-related dream had something to do with the jacket that says “Great American Cookie Company” on the back?
Did you consider that maybe the cookie-cake-related dream had something to do with the jacket that says “Great American Cookie Company” on the back?
A quick moment to describe my surroundings: Chateau Gentleman is a leathery affair. Everything you could possibly imagine could be embroidered is so.
What kind of monster doesn’t enjoy flannel? As blue gingham is to spring and summer, flannel is to your fall and winter Tinder photos.
10:00 AM --- Drink a latte and brainstorm ways to mix up this week’s photoshoots. Order some motor oil in bulk, in case hair gel “isn’t weird enough.”
We could utilize the approaching inferno and cook acres of lip-smacking omelette and turn it into an egg-themed pleasure park!
I hope I don't have to use the revolver, but this is Costco—godless territory where wild men purchase two-gallon tins of popcorn on any given day.
Colorblock Windbreaker: You wear this athletic fit ironically because you are actually a struggling improv performer.
Research the Community Parking Regulations: Beverly Hightower, the girl you’ve been in love with since sophomore year, is sitting on your train.
Marlon Brando famously wore this style of jacket in "The Wild One," but he was later jailed for being deemed “too sexy” and died in prison.
Explore and investigate the strange scraping sounds, trap doors in the floor, and that creepy voice that keeps whispering your name late at night.
You picture it. You see the wisdom. Unlike Drake, you do not accept God's plan. "I'm too good for that," you say. "Are you fucking kiddi–" God says.
You notice a phalanx of tiny Greek soldiers inside your body and they're stabbing you in the lungs with their historically accurate iron spears.