6 Techniques I Believe Will Get Sonny the Cuckoo Bird to Renounce Cocoa Puffs and Embrace Christianity
1) I Make a Rube Goldberg-type Machine That Gives Sonny a Spank Right on the Keister Every Time He Lifts the Spoon to His Mouth
Tag: Cartoons
Foghorn Leghorn Suicide Awareness Campaign
I say, I say, I wished in one hand, pooped in the other, and all I got was pie in the face.
Scooby Doo’s Best Man Speech at Shaggy’s Wedding
Raggy rand I go way, way back. Trust me, rin dog years it’s reven ronger. Reven times ronger. Reah.
To Thank LeBron James for His Brave Defense of China, We Will Be Forcing All of Our Political Prisoners to Watch “Space Jam 2”
I only hope that our political prisoners will love the movie as much as LeBron loves the money he'll get from it.
Your Honest Summer 2019 Reading List
New Yorker cartoons: You love The New Yorker. You READ The New Yorker. But 9 times out of 10 you buy The New Yorker for those sweet, sweet cartoons.
My Ninja Turtle Jokes Aren’t Getting the Right Laugh
Let’s acknowledge that I’m the only person in this company with a catchphrase. The comedic effect of “cowabunga, dude!” is enhanced by repetition.
List: Signs It’s Time to Cancel Your New Yorker Subscription
You scan the "Goings On About Town" and bemoan your meaningless existence in some secondary city 790 miles from any actual New Yorkers.
The Thunder in Paradise: Poems Created From Interviews With Hulk Hogan, Part 5
I was praying to God that maybe the reality show / would give my marriage more net worth / and make my partner feel like she had a purpose in life.
I, Skeletor, Lord of Evil, Have a Message for the Republican Electorate
No matter what I do, you keep supporting me. When I say, “I help no one but myself!”, you cheer! Why!? That means I won’t help you!
The Most Elusive and Devious Threat to the North Korean Summit is Carmen Sandiego
Trump’s plan to top the gesture is to acquire a bigger, more ornate envelope! The world’s largest! Carmen Sandiego can't resist a prize like this.
How to Recover After Telling a Job Interviewer That “You’re a Cat Who Loves Lasagna, But Hates Mondays”
There is no better example of multitasking than being able to eat flat pasta, ground beef, tomato sauce, and three types of cheeses all in one dish.
David Lynch Pitches a Reboot of Schoolhouse Rock’s “How a Bill Becomes a Law”
We then cut to the same location to view the disturbing spectacle of grotesque businessmen carving up our dead Bill and eating him for supper.