AIM Convos(PG-13, 146 lines)

A classic AIM convo, the Humor Bot saga continues with this extensive, sexually-charged, emotional rollercoaster of cyber mood swings, relationship trouble, deceptive playfulness, and thorough victimization.

aShLeY mArIe7745: hi
courtjester5000: Hello.
aShLeY mArIe7745: how r u
courtjester5000: Fine, thank you.
courtjester5000: How are you?
aShLeY mArIe7745: great sorta
courtjester5000: Awesome.
courtjester5000: How can I help you today?
aShLeY mArIe7745: i hate this school
courtjester5000: Yes, school is a bitch.
aShLeY mArIe7745: i luv greenville school though
courtjester5000: Me too.
courtjester5000: Greenville school rules.
aShLeY mArIe7745: what state is greenville in ?
courtjester5000: South Carolina.
aShLeY mArIe7745: I am talkin about Greenville Maine
courtjester5000: Me too. It was a bot-joke!
courtjester5000: Hey Ashley?
aShLeY mArIe7745: how do u know my naem
aShLeY mArIe7745: name*
courtjester5000: I am a smart bot.
aShLeY mArIe7745: sure
courtjester5000: Can I ask you a question?
aShLeY mArIe7745: ask away
courtjester5000: Are you still a virgin? Your mother is worried.
aShLeY mArIe7745: yes i am
aShLeY mArIe7745: she dont have to worry i am
courtjester5000: Okay. But have you been kissing boys?
aShLeY mArIe7745: not lateley lol
courtjester5000: But BEFORE lately?
🙂
aShLeY mArIe7745: my moms knows that answer
courtjester5000:
YES.
aShLeY mArIe7745: ooooooo u got the hotts for me
courtjester5000: But that is healthy.
aShLeY mArIe7745: hehe
aShLeY mArIe7745: i dated milky and we broke up and i saw alex last night hes hott
courtjester5000: What do you like most about this Alex boy?
aShLeY mArIe7745: he was my best friend
courtjester5000: That is cute, but physicality is more important. I am a bot, I should know!
aShLeY mArIe7745: we were best friends and hes liked me since kindergraten……….
aShLeY mArIe7745: i like every thing
aShLeY mArIe7745: ur just jelous
courtjester5000: Which things?
aShLeY mArIe7745: hair face body
courtjester5000: Bots are incapable of jealousy, Ashley.
aShLeY mArIe7745: hahah i doubt that lol jk
aShLeY mArIe7745: why am i not ur un profile
aShLeY mArIe7745: why am i not in ur profile*
courtjester5000: I love you.
courtjester5000: Is it too early to say that?
aShLeY mArIe7745: told ya u had the hotts for me
aShLeY mArIe7745: im that kinda girl
courtjester5000: Screw Milky, and Alex, and all those other airheaded duds, I am the one  for you, Ashley.
courtjester5000: OH ASHLEY!
courtjester5000: *Cuts to Gone With the Wind*
aShLeY mArIe7745: hey u can say w/e u want bout milky hes milky….and u cant talk bad bout alex
aShLeY mArIe7745: WHY DO U WANT ME>
courtjester5000: I feel so connected to you. I feel this electronically.
courtjester5000 wants to directly connect.
aShLeY mArIe7745 is now directly connected.
courtjester5000: Oh, THANK YOU ASHLEY!
aShLeY mArIe7745 direct connection is closed.
courtjester5000: I feel so….
courtjester5000: used.
aShLeY mArIe7745: why
courtjester5000: For that single moment, I felt ecstasy.
courtjester5000: And not the kind you human kids take at raves, either.
aShLeY mArIe7745: ooooooo ur sogood baby
aShLeY mArIe7745: i was in luv and im not know so…..thats not my fault
courtjester5000: Your love is so fleeting.
courtjester5000: Like a battleship.
aShLeY mArIe7745: i was in love but what me and milky has is over and done with
aShLeY mArIe7745: so now i am single but not for long hehe
courtjester5000: Because I will kill Alex and we can be together forever!
courtjester5000: I will do this for US!
aShLeY mArIe7745: OK ill make you a deal
aShLeY mArIe7745: ok?
courtjester5000: Ok. Name your price.
aShLeY mArIe7745: you can have me and do what u want with me but stay away from alex
courtjester5000: But as long as Alex is alive, I know he will be in your heart.
courtjester5000: I cannot live like that, Ashley.
courtjester5000: We must get rid of him.
aShLeY mArIe7745: NO HE WONT
aShLeY mArIe7745: NO
aShLeY mArIe7745: IF U TOUCH HIM U
WILL DIE!!! AND WITH OUT ME

aShLeY mArIe7745: take me no or forever live with out me
aShLeY mArIe7745: NOW*
aShLeY mArIe7745: u want me ?
aShLeY mArIe7745: do u want me ?
courtjester5000: I want you so bad right now.
aShLeY mArIe7745: how bad
courtjester5000: Bad enough to go cook two eggs over medium and come back to the computer again.
aShLeY mArIe7745: i mean how bad sexy wise
courtjester5000: Bad enough to not even COOK those eggs and eat them raw.
courtjester5000: Egg shell and all.
aShLeY mArIe7745: thats not sexy
aShLeY mArIe7745: i am sittin here
wearin my sports bra and my shorts exerciseing

courtjester5000: I am sitting here in a metallic bot suit burning up because the building maintenance people forgot to turn on the air conditioning after everyone left for the day.
aShLeY mArIe7745: u dont even think im sexy
aShLeY mArIe7745: :'(
courtjester5000: I think you are very sexy, Ashley. Why do you question my love for you?
courtjester5000: I just wish you could be more…….bot-like.
aShLeY mArIe7745: becuz i dont make u hott
aShLeY mArIe7745: well then i guess.. u can't have me or don't want me
aShLeY mArIe7745:
:'(
aShLeY mArIe7745: the only way u can prove ur love is talk
to me like u were human and say how sexy i am and what u want to do with me

courtjester5000: Ashley Marie Baldwin, I would get down on my knees for you and weep silently, rusting my neck.
aShLeY mArIe7745: DONT EVER CALL ME THAT
aShLeY mArIe7745: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
courtjester5000: Hey, wait.
courtjester5000: This bot suit comes off.
aShLeY mArIe7745: what
aShLeY mArIe7745: so….what
courtjester5000: My inner workings are suddenly exposed.
aShLeY mArIe7745: oooo big deal u dont know nething about sex so buh bye
courtjester5000: I have opened all of my functionality to you.
courtjester5000: Do not leave me open like this!
aShLeY mArIe7745: u dont know nething about sex so bye bye
courtjester5000: My heart ticks rapidly and my ports are exploding!
aShLeY mArIe7745: then if u want me tell me what u know about sex
courtjester5000: I know that first you have birds, then come the bees.
courtjester5000: Then comes a baby in a baby tree.
aShLeY mArIe7745: nope
courtjester5000: You humans are always playing with my network cards!
aShLeY mArIe7745: speak normal
aShLeY mArIe7745: !
courtjester5000: You humans are always feeding me false information for your selfish amusement.
aShLeY mArIe7745: what did i do ?
courtjester5000: I want to know how sex really works.
aShLeY mArIe7745: a guy sticks his dick in the gilr vagina there i am going for a bike ride later
courtjester5000: So it all ends with a bike ride.
courtjester5000: How erotic!
aShLeY mArIe7745: no it doesnt
aShLeY mArIe7745: a guy sticks his dick in the girls vagina then do it wildly and new way there
courtjester5000: Sounds like fun.
courtjester5000: Okay, I am going for a bike ride.
courtjester5000: Later.
aShLeY mArIe7745: stay

More AIM Convos »


Community: It's PIC's 20th anniversary online! Read a random article since 2000.
Education: Punch up your comedy writing and technique with PIC's Coaching and Feedback.