HAHA, silly mortals, there are no rules to a Rapeocalypse…but there will be prizes…oh yes, there will be prizes. I have it on the highest authority, from PIC's holiest of holes, Court Sullivan, that this is now an Official PIC Contest, complete with a hand-picked prize package that may or may not contain a Jesus figurine strap-on/dildo…and by may, I mean it absolutely won't, but if those don't already exist someone needs to patent that idea right fucking NOW!

If you're unclear what the hell I'm even talking about, READ THIS FIRST. It all started there in the comment section of Jeff Gassen's "4 Signs of the Rapocalypse" article, an article which I expected to be about something much different based on the title.

As the creator of this Official PIC Contest, I have bestowed the ultimate authority of final "judgement" (see what I did there?) upon myself.

The contest is simple:

Write something about the "Four Signs of the Rapeocalypse" and submit it to Points in Case, either by emailing it to Court ([email protected]), uploading it to your blog (if you're a PIC blogger), or even posting it in the comments section here if you want.

I will read all the submissions and whomever wins will be awarded a hand-picked prize package! All submissions will be published on PIC in a central location, regardless.

Your article should be ridiculously offensive, contain religious references that would make the Pope cry, and because this is a comedy website, it should be funny.

So come one, come all and bring your rapier wit. In fact, bring your rapiest wit, because the Rapeocalypse is coming whether you like it or not…

Rapeocalypse painting
I bet the Mayans didn't predict this shit!

Official Entries:

Copernicus Thunderbird – Four Signs of the Rapeocalypse: Alien Invasion
James Boulstridge – Four Signs of the Rapeocalypse: Mini-Jesus's Journey
Vernon Carter Ross – Caligula was Right (Four Signs of the Rapeocalypse)
Julian Asange – 4 Signs of the Rapeocalypse: Chaos and Vaginas
Brent Vanguard – Brent Vanguard's Rapeocalypse Insurance Program
Jeff Gassen – Four Signs of the Rapeocalypse: The Intercepted Letter
Copernicus Thunderbird – A Soundtrack for the End of the Goddamn World
Gavin Pitt – Four Signs of the Rapeocalypse: Michael Bay Wet Dream Edition
Copernicus Thunderbird – Cthulhu's Crazy Christmas Party of Carnal Delights: The Musical
Keke DeVille – The Four Fucks of the Rapeocalypse
Edyn Fountainhead – Four Signs of the Rapeocalypse: Why Women Should Take Prophylactic Measures
Molly Williams – Goats: Harbingers of the Rapeocalypse
Jeff Gassen – Prepare for the Rapeocalypse: Rape Don't Hurt
Gavin Pitt – Rapeocalypse II: American Die… Re-Urn-ion
David Ayala – The 4 Signs of the Rapeocalypse are Cray Cray, You Guys
Jeff Gassen – Rapeocalypse Now: A Twat Thought Experiment
Mike Lamb – Four Signs of the Rapeocalypse: Boris Vallejo Unicorn Porn Edition
Michael Winston – The Four Cocksmen of the Rapeocalypse
James Boulstridge – Four Signs of the Rapeocalypse: Episode 1
James Boulstridge – Four Signs of the Rapeocalypse: Episode 2

The Winners Announcement:

Official PIC Contest Result: The Book of Revelation

Join upcoming November classes in Satire Writing, Sketch Writing, and Stand-Up Joke Writing.