The other night I had a dream Court Sullivan called me on the phone and told me I was a faggot for not updating my blog often enough. Two days after this dream I started thinking Court did call me, and started wondering what Court had against gay bloggers. Not that I'm gay or anything,  just uh… fuck.
Well moving on, to avoid Court calling me in my dreams again and gay bashing me, I decided to update. (Hopefully tonight he'll call me and thank me in my dreams instead. Or maybe I'm just dreaming about Court too much.) I'm going to stick to my theme of giving advice and tips out, mainly because I'm a lazy bastard and I'll post something real in the next few days. I'm going to tell you how to get Budweiser beer for $5.99. A friend told me about this, I tried it and had great success.
First, all you need is a store with a U-Scan. You have to do this at the U-Scan, because you need to ring it up yourself. Second, you need Budweiser beer. I usually just grab an 18 pack because that will cover me for at least one drinking session. The last things you need are a pair of hands that can rip a box (sorry, people with no hands are usually shit out of luck), and some understanding of what it means to be stealthy, because I'm sure this is somehow illegal.

Walk up to the U-Scan and set your beer down. Instead of scanning the barcode on the beer case, rip open the case and take one beer out. Next, you need to scan the barcode on the beer, and take a look on the screen. It should say Budweiser and ring up for $5.99. Put the beer back in the case, pay and leave. You now have a case of Budweiser for just $5.99.

If for some reason you feel guilty for ripping off two major corporations who are making bank, then fuck you, you shouldn't be drinking. For everyone else, have fun getting drunk for cheap tonight.

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