A middle-aged white man walks into the Department of Motor Vehicles.

He waits in line for what feels like fucking forever until he speaks to the cashier or whatever they're called.

"Can I help you?" she says in her sassy black voice.

"Yes, I'd like to file a complaint."

"Listen mister, do you need a driver's license renewal? A license plate cute name that nobody understands? You lost your ID? ‘Cause if the answer to any of those questions I just pertuberated on you is no then I am going to have to whip yo white ass out of here faster than a pedophile gets kicked out of Chuck E. Cheese's."

"That's racist! You can't say that! The Civil Rights Movement II is alive! I just gave birth to it out of my metaphorical vagina! Us white folks are put down by society day after day and it MUST STOP NOWWWWW!"

He turns around and in a bellowous roar that everyone in the building can hear shouts. "Let us rebel, my fellow white males! Us middle-class white males have been getting shit from society for too long! We get blamed for everything bad in society while we build it and progress it. I say no more! We shall rise up! Let us declare February to be White History Month!"

"Sir, you need to take this ticket and sit and wait for your number to be called in the Racist Rants section on the opposite corner of this building."

See new PIC posts via Twitter, Facebook, or email.

Sign up for comedy writing or stand-up classes at The Second City - 10% off with code PIC.