It’s a zero-sum game out there. Every piece of candy you don’t get goes into the gaping, cavity-filled maw of some other kid.
The Super Bowl has become so commercialized, its religious meaning is in danger of being lost completely.
Shouldn’t it be kidnabbing? Either way, to answer your question: Not Guilty, your honor.
Forget wikiHow, I need wikiWhy.
Be tidy. If you have showered in body fluids, towel off before excursions.
The dads effectively hit everything except the ball causing a lot of property damage while the factory workers could not settle on a bat.
MINDLESS EATING MACHINES, TO STRIKE TERROR INTO THE HEARTS OF MEN. FOR MAN IS THE WARMEST PLACE TO HIDE. For $2 more the pizzas come with extra cheese.
It’s funny if you sync up scenes of Danny riding his tricycle with the theme song from Naked Gun.
Looking down and seeing my legs dangling over a 400-foot drop has helped me to put certain decisions I’ve made about my life into focus.
My hours are long, there’s no clock, and my wages are… well it’s just the pellets, isn’t it?
St. Louis Cardinals: You can't climax unless it's a 1-0 pitchers' duel.
Their parents, who are never in town, don’t answer my emails, so parent-teacher conferences are as big a joke as life insurance in this town.
"Jeepers creepers! They're going to scratch the place up!"
Fennel: The least soluble kid in her grade. A boss baby who doesn’t care about boys or cornbread.
