Michael Traeger | Points in Case Contributing Writer

A two-time simultaneous holder of the "Mr. Olympia" and "Biggest Pathological Liar EVER" titles, Michael Traeger spends the bulk of his spare
time marveling that stage magician David Copperfield once dated supermodel Claudia Schiffer. CLAUDIA SCHIFFER!



Known around the world for his anonymity, Michael often gives epic lectures on the beauty and benefits of silence. His collection of short stories, "Hemingway and Plath Go
to the Zoo," was recently rejected outright by a prominent New York publisher.



"Life has been a whirlwind," Traeger said to no one in particular, "and I'd like to contribute more articles, but the voices are back, and asking for cheese."



Feel free to contact Michael with your thoughts, comments, account routing numbers, gripes, bitches, complaints, recipes, and the explanation of how the hell Taylor Hicks
won American Idol.

 

Articles

The Most Horrific Pick-Up Story Ever by Michael
Traeger
Everybody has horrific date stories, but this is the ultimate tale of “Open Mouth, Insert Foot." And the relationship hadn't even got off the
ground.

Stop, Drop and Roll Kindergarten Cop by Michael
Traeger
It's worthless on so many levels, yet it's rewatchable to the point of exhaustion. So where does the national obsession with KC come from?

Six Steps to Breakup Salvation by Michael
Traeger
Getting over an ex is an uphill battle. To get over the hump, you'll need rebounds, chocolate, alcohol and music. Then it's all downhill to
single.

It's That Valen-time Again by Michael Traeger

Valentine's Day may seem like a cute cuddly holiday, but that was before women made thoughtful acts mandatory. Pressure's on, fellas.