Michael Curtiss | Points in Case Columnist

Michael Curtiss attends Flagler College in St. Augustine, FL. This smart, sexy, smooth, sarcastic, son of a bitch's pure talent as a writer
is only overshadowed by his obvious lack of creativity, often associated by his frequent and repeated use of alliteration. He plans to share his stories/semen with eager
recipients, as well as his points of view, which only make sense to himself.

Column

Up Shit Creek

The uncouth misadventures of an unwarily optimistic Floridian caught paddling with nothing but his hands.

 

Articles

Almost Raped in Austin by Michael
Curtiss
Ugly strippers, hitchhiking murderers, and stalking rapists give new meaning to
the saying "Don't Mess With Texas!"

A Fleeting Pain in the Butt by Michael
Curtiss
When you wake up feeling like there's a wolverine in your stomach, it turns out
an enema is your only friend. Beware the oil spill.

Sluts on a Plane by Michael
Curtiss
Don't panic, the Mile High Strip Club always creates turbulence. Even Samuel L.
Jackson would welcome this kind of thing at 10,000 feet.

Manhunt for the Unannoying Girl by Michael
Curtiss
Finding the right girl is like going on safari for an easy-going lion. Either way you're kidding yourself about being able to grab
some tail.

The Ping Pong Pile of Shit by Michael Curtiss
When you break a ping pong table down to its most
basic form, the result is a heaping pile of trash. Just ask your neighbor, it's his problem now.

The Bed, Beach and Beyond by Michael Curtiss

The amount of fun you have on Spring Break in South Padre can effectively be gauged by the amount of bodily fluids left in one bed.

The Last Doctor Visit You'll Ever Make by Michael Curtiss
Back
pains and difficulty urinating? You might just wanna tough it out...that is, unless you enjoyed your last alien anal probe.

Cupid's Revenge by Michael Curtiss and Jay
Maloney
Somewhere Cupid is sipping chai lattes laughing at the ridiculous conundrums
lovers face on Valentine's Day. Especially The Notebook.

Move Over, Chuck Norris by Michael Curtiss, feat. Jay
Maloney
You weaseled your way up to pop culture icon status for little more than your
roundhouse kick, but now we've found your replacements, Chuck.

Safe Shitting Guide for School Toilets by Michael Curtiss

Touching the toilet seat at school is like the chocolate kiss of death. Fortunately, new techniques like the Pinch and Pull keep you
clean.