College Quotes
Sara: So I don’t get it, if you have two cars, one for summer and one for winter, what do you do if it's like an off day... like it's 60 degrees in December?
Chris: You tie a rope to the wheels of both cars and stand on 'em and ride 'em like horses. One foot on the roof of each.
-On the future of hybrids
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J.M. Lucci | Points in Case Columnist
J.M. Lucci
PIC Columnist
School: Saint Francis University,
PA
Hometown: Richmond, VA
Email | AIM
J.M. "Tyrone" Lucci was born and raised in the glorious commonwealth that is Virginia (not to be confused with her traitorous whore of a
sister, West Virginia). Tyrone lounges around the mountains of Pennsylvania, waiting for the day he can finally cross back south of the Mason-Dixon Line, where the sun
shines bright and "winter" means changing from shorts to pants.
Tyrone got lucky with his schedule and gets out of classes by noon, leaving him plenty of time to ignore his friends and family. When he's not blaming Evangelicalism for
ruining religion, Tyrone works as the managing editor for his campus newspaper, scribes fiction, draws stick figures, rescues babies, and waves to the crowd. He once spent
part of a summer in state prison (true story).
If you give him the chance, he can make a game out of anything, even picking up high school girls at the local mall's food court. Tyrone hates white folk. They're taking
all our jobs and keeping potpourri a profitable commodity.
Fringe Benefits
Off-tilt observations of the unnoticed perks of college life, because sometimes a normal, hedonistic experience just isn't enough.
Scriptures of Tyrone
The gospel according to Lucci, chock full of morals and stories.
At the Rest Stop of Madness, Part II by J.M. Lucci
Part II of the horror/humor series picks up as the college friends pull in to the rest stop, and head to the restroom for a lot more than a quick pee.
At the Rest Stop of Madness by J.M. Lucci
Part I of
the horror/humor series following a group of college kids on a misguided road trip, and their ill-fated encounter with the surreal.
Summer Semester "To-Do" List by J.M.
Lucci
The classes are easier and the parties fewer and farther between. Time to take advantage of fewer cock-blockers and hardly any police.
Love is a Battlefield by J.M. Lucci
The
strategy is simple: conquer female territory. You may win some battles, but you haven't won the war until your troops are deposited.
Friday, As Decided By Your Organs by J.M.
Lucci
Little did you know, every decision you make is hotly debated by almost every member of your corporate body. Penis, you're on speakerphone.
Today We Salute You: Janitorial Staff by J.M.
Lucci
Week after week you clean up the results of our gross indiscretions, allowing us to continue our education toward not becoming a janitor.
