James White - Contributing Writer

James White has been attending the University at Albany since its heyday as the #1 party school in the nation circa 2004. He is majoring in how to leave college with no job prospects (read: Communication).

James' only saving graces are a minor in journalism, his cat Sambuca, and an affinity for dick jokes. He is unsure whether he wants tograduate this spring or stay for another semester to get another useless undergraduate degree, this time in psychology. If James decides to graduate, he will move to NYC,Vegas or LA in pursuit of writing, stand-up comedy, and vagina. If he stays in Albany, his pursuits will include freshman girls, freshman girls, and more freshman girls.

James was originally born in England, and his friends love to give him shit about it. Boston Tea Party references are commonplace. When he was 16, James got a blowjob from three girls at the same time. Life has been all downhill from that moment. In hindsight, he should have killed himself immediately following said ejaculation.

Articles

Celebrate Steak & Blowjob Day by James White
Finally, a day where men get to shove their meat in all the right places. It's a his and hers holiday gift where everyone leaves full.

Global Warming: A Convenient Theory by James White
What Al Gore failed to mention was all the benefits of rising temps. Naked women, penguin slaves? I'm warming up to the idea already.

Outsmarting the Scantron by James White
Not to burst your bubble or anything, but when a test is graded by a robot, you're going to need some advanced study techniques.