Jake Christie | Points in Case Featured Writer
Jake Christie
PIC Featured Writer
School: University of Southern
Maine
Hometown: Washington, ME
Email | AIM | Facebook | MySpace | Homepage
Jake Christie goes to the University of Southern Maine, where he majors in Writing, Media, and Impromptu Bong Construction. He's written
novels, stageplays, screenplays, television scripts, humor pieces, and other things that don't help him get laid. He has never missed an episode of LOST. Baby, Jake
promises he will treat you right. It won't be like last time, baby. Don't worry. He's changed. Jake lives in Maine and is incredibly white. He is probably the most
important person on the internet today.
Revenge of the News
Jake Christie is taking years of progress back from the independent media.
Are You Ready for the Test? (Survey Results) by Jake
Christie Thorough preparation is often the key to success. Of course, one's definition of
"preparation" is bound to influence actual outcomes.
Traditional Christmas Wisdom by Jake Christie
The
wise men might not have approved of a Red Ryder BB gun, but they certainly would have endorsed Jesus vs. Santa on pay-per-view.
Hot for Teacher by Jake Christie
The Hot Professor is both
God's gift and curse to college students. Good luck making anything higher than a full C in that class.
The No Job Summer by Jake
Christie
Making money? Totally overrated. If you're looking for cheap summer
alternatives, try boredom, eating napkins, and drinking your own piss!
Farewell, All of My Away Messages by Jake Christie
We
gather here today to remember an old friend who was there for us even when we were "rubbing myself all over and getting wet."
Order Your Robot Girlfriend Today! by Jake
Christie
Human relationships getting stale? Save time, breath, and money by investing in the emotional and sexual stability of a lifelike
robot model.
Frat Party: The Text Adventure by Jake
Christie
Make your way through a typical frat party Choose Your Own Adventure style in
pursuit of girls. Hint: "HIT GRAVBONG" may be your downfall.
So You Saw Your Roommate's Penis by Jake
Christie
Eventually, the unlucky day will come when you catch a glimpse of your
roommate's goods. Are you prepared for the awkward aftermath?






