College Quotes
"There is and never has been love. Only fingerblasting."
-Mike, on the hands-on romantic approach
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About Points in Case
At a Glance
PIC is the largest online college publication, featuring original comedy articles, columns, blogs, and quotes for half a million readers every month. But the ladies tell us it's not the size that matters, it's how well we tickle the funny bone, so please forgive us for trying to make you laugh at all costs.
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Chris Phelan - Columnist
PIC Columnist
School: University of Connecticut
Hometown: Philadelphia, PA
Email | AIM | Facebook
Chris Phelan, an alum of the University of Connecticut as of December 2006, is currently residing in the Philadelphia area doing absolutely nothing... why didn't anybody tell him journalism majors make absolutely no money? At any rate, his writing skills have been critiqued by many the esteemed critic, i.e. the faithful readers of PointsinCase.com. Some of his personal favorite comments are as follows:
"If I ever see you, I will knock your lights out."
-Randy, 01/28/07
"Only a 13 year old girl could hold the position you have here stated."
-'Turdburglar', 01/21/07
"[Your column] was a slap in the face with the obvious stick."
-Tara, 12/22/06
"i am a big, ugly, slut that dropped out of 10th grade after my second baby, and all i want to say is, i hate you, chris phelan."
-'foot face', 12/21/06
Chris is a respectable 81% from the free throw line, prefers good old Budweiser, although he's doesn't own a pickup truck or follows NASCAR, and almost hit a hole-in-one on a real golf course once. He also might be the only red-blooded male in America who includes Ashlee Simpson in his "top 3 women" list. But whatever, he's got his reasons.
Chris secretly hopes that his entertaining, easy-to-read, clever writing style eventually leads him into a torrid love affair with Rachel McAdams. And by Rachel McAdams he means anybody who is willing to agree to call their relationship "torrid." I mean, come on, that just sounds great.
Three Beers Deep
An assortment of guides, stories, and observational humor from a guy who realized writing a weekly column can't be done sober.
Facebook 2007: A Letter from Zuckerberg by Chris Phelan
Hey, it's your Facebook buddy here. No, not Tom, fuck him. Just want you to know that I'm thinking up new ways for you to scare people.
The Greatest Sexual Theory of All Time by Chris Phelan
Once a hookup, ALWAYS a hookup. You won't need a scientist to tell you that this theory will help lubricate your next dry spell.
Meet the Hot New Neighbors in Five Steps by Chris Phelan
Hooking up with hot women is not that hard. First, live next to them, then wait around for a stroke of luck...or the roofies to kick in.
I Am an Online Poker Addict by Chris Phelan
Online poker is better than sex. Whether you're on top, coming from behind, or all-in, you're in for the ride of your life.
Murphy's Laws of Instant Messaging by Chris Phelan
Everything that can go wrong on IM, will go wrong. Therefore, you can always count on things like getting signed off and losing important IMs.
