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Bio
Chris Phelan, an alum of the
University of Connecticut as of December 2006, is currently
residing in the Philadelphia area doing absolutely
nothing... why didn't anybody tell him journalism majors
make absolutely no money? At any rate, his writing skills
have been critiqued by many the esteemed critic, i.e. the
faithful readers of PointsinCase.com. Some of his personal
favorite comments are as follows:
"If I ever see you, I will knock your lights out."
-Randy, 01/28/07
"Only a 13 year old girl could hold the position you have
here stated."
-'Turdburglar', 01/21/07
"[Your column] was a slap in the face with the obvious
stick."
-Tara, 12/22/06
"i am a big, ugly, slut that dropped out of 10th grade after
my second baby, and all i want to say is, i hate you, chris
phelan."
-'foot face', 12/21/06
Chris is a respectable 81% from the free throw line, prefers
good old Budweiser, although he's doesn't own a pickup truck
or follows NASCAR, and almost hit a hole-in-one on a real
golf course once. He also might be the only red-blooded male
in America who includes Ashlee Simpson in his "top 3 women"
list. But whatever, he's got his reasons.
Chris secretly hopes that his entertaining, easy-to-read,
clever writing style eventually leads him into a torrid love
affair with Rachel McAdams. And by Rachel McAdams he means
anybody who is willing to agree to call their relationship
"torrid." I mean, come on, that just sounds great.
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Articles
 Facebook
2007: A Letter from Zuckerberg
by Chris Phelan
Hey, it's your Facebook buddy here. No, not Tom, fuck him.
Just want you to know that I'm thinking up new ways for you to
scare people.
 The
Greatest Sexual Theory of All Time
by
Chris Phelan
Once a hookup, ALWAYS a hookup. You won't need
a scientist to tell you that this theory will help lubricate
your next dry spell.
 Meet
the Hot New Neighbors in Five Steps
by Chris Phelan
Hooking up with hot women is not that
hard. First, live next to them, then wait around for a stroke of
luck...or the roofies to kick in.
 I
Am an Online Poker Addict by Chris
Phelan
Online poker is better than sex. Whether
you're on top, coming from behind, or all-in, you're in for the ride
of your life.
 Murphy's
Laws of Instant Messaging by Chris
Phelan
Everything that can go wrong on IM, will
go wrong. Therefore, you can always count on things like getting
signed off and losing important IMs.
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