JJ

School: Germanna Community College

Class of: 2013

Hometown: Ashland, KS

At a Glance:

I'm a writer/musician, who lives in a house with my roomates Eric and Matt, my dog Skizzo, and Eric's dog Ron Swanson TV Dinner. I have a girlfriend, somehow, and I strive to always use proper punctuation.

Bio:

Seriously, do you really care that much? If so, you're pathetic. Reality TV sucks, and my life story, though interesting, is not worth your time. Hell it was barely worth the time I put in to live it. I would much rather see you reading a book or doing some homework than wasting your time wondering about everybody else's life story. For real dude, cmon, are you seriously still reading this?

College Quotes:

Fingerblasting Your Girl
Trash Can is My Best Friend
Scarecrow Lacks More than a Brain
Coyotes vs. Blackhawks: Something's Amiss
We Want Prenup, WE WANT PRENUP
Hardwood Floor Over the Lake
Hand Cannon Gun
Bea Arthur vs. Betty White
Valentine's Day Dinner
Make Love, Not Sense
Alternate Form of Gaming Payment
Cowboys and Rubgians
Strip Club for Dinner
Sofa Cuddling Position
Truck Candy Business Mind
Smartest Friend in the Group
Rainforest Preservation in a Nutshell
Shark Week Facts of Life
Illegal Sex Moves
Gas Station Pickup Lines
Farting in a Crowd
Pantsless in Mexico
Distracted By Ice Cream Truck
Lazy Handicapped Guy
I May Not Be Right
Annoying Illiteracy
I'm At Your Mom's House
Rocket Science for Retards
Backyard Strip Club
You Scratch My Bar, I'll Scratch Yours
I'm Hot Like Shakira
Cowboys and Indians Remix
Cindy Crawford Who?
Circus Family Reunion
I Feel Naked Without My Phone
Failure Not Defined By Success
Satan vs. Jesus, The Poker Game
Ebonics Gibberish
Who Looks Like Shit Today?
Home Depot Cheap Labor
Awesome Self-Praise
Take a Shit Before Hitting on Girls
Matching Hammer for Tools
Breakup with Imaginary Girlfriend
The "She Turns 18" Calendar
Neverland Solves Growing Up Problems
Cop Suspects, No Homo
Pen Stabbing in the Neck
Just Dating for the Sex
Speaky English, No American
Hitting the Right Hole
Doing Things the American Way
How to Have Sex with a Car
Weeping Willow: The Emo Tree
Election Erection Day
Nigerian Village Chief
Female to Male Turnover
Ice Cream Reward
Now That's What SHE Said
Best Reason to Go to College
One Less Drunk Driver at the Party
California Girls: Tiffany or Heather
How to Repel Women
Someone Out There for Everyone
Google-Fu Search
Three Catholic Requirements
Single and Out of Beer
Late Baby Delivery
Textbook Rape Case
Baylor Apocalypse
Supermodel Hookup Fail
Finally Lost Virginity
Fear of Relationships
Too Early for Marriage
Fan Blows Up
Knock 'Em Dead Comedy
Joe May Be Gay
Who's to Say He's My Kid?
Non-Emergency Video Game Preparedness
A Seat on the Short Bus
Priest Bachelor Party Planning
Subway Pickup Line
Female Cockblock
Tony Stark Goatee
Retiring from Woman Chasing
Anything with a Vagina
Got B Game Like Joe Montana
Chick Bait at the Bar
Blackout Punch in the Face
That's What She Said Twice
Sorry I'm From Mexico
Seatbelt and Cigarette Violations
Blessed with Good Looks
You Can Judge This Book Only By Its Cover
At the Fork in the Road, Go Eat
Comma vs. Semi-Colon
Parallel Retardedness
Everyone Thinks You're Gay
Extra Strip Club Cash
Fuck My Boss
Footlong Career Conversion
Putt-Putt Golf Finish
Dick vs. Idiot
My Beard is Getting Bigger
Retarded Girl Buys a Beer
Being Broke Sucks
Cursed with Bad Sex Text
How Drunk Are You?
The Most Retarded Person Ever
Hot Cousin Hookups
Called Out By a 5-Year-Old
Bad Pregnancy Scare
I Have Half a Mind
Golden Tate's Race
Walmart's Purple Dinosaur
Easy Cowboy, She's Not Interested
Big Drinking Leads to Big Puking
Moving to Arkansas for the Womenfolk
Atlanta Airport Rescue Bar
Retaliation for Getting Jumped
Always Fail to Amaze Me
Smoke Circle of Love
Growing Up, Drinking Less?
Relationships: Never a Waste of Time
Never Present Girlfriend
Attracted to a Crack Whore
Advantages to Paying for Sex
I've Become So Numb
Helicopter Flight School Perk
Sell Blood for Money
Pubes as Toothbrush
All Aboard the Fail Train