Two weekends ago, at a friend's party, I found myself in the middle of several awkward moments involving a very unattractive man. From the moment he screamed, "Hey redhead! What's yo name, redhead?!" I knew it was fate. I knew I was not going to be able to escape. After several attempts to catch my name, he tried to woo me by making very low pterodactyl noises an inch from my face. Read More »

Right now, all over the world, gay men are dating women. Maybe they're too afraid to come out of the closet. Maybe they aren't even aware that they in fact like men. But they are out there, and they are dating women just like you. I just so happen to be dating one myself. Read More »

After five years of grueling work, endless binge drinking, and long hours interning, my brother has graduated from a certain prestigious Midwestern engineering school. Read More »

In 2004, Justin Rebello wrote his list of the top 10 worst movies of all time. Hilarity ensued. Five years later, I think we can all agree there has been an overwhelming amount of terrible movies in and out of America's theaters. Read More »

There is nothing that can ruin a perfect day like getting ass-raped on the sidewalk on your way to class. No, not literally... perverts. It is unbelievable the number of ways in which people make the simple task of getting from Point A to Point B via sidewalk a journey of epic proportions. I'd never thought I'd see the day that actual tact was needed to follow fucking pavement. Read More »

We've all seen it. At some point on your college campus you have encountered the girl who believes that her skin-tight leggings are a completely legitimate form of pants. I don't know who told her that a thin piece of nylon would suffice, but they were fucking wrong. Read More »