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Quick Jokes
School:
Michigan State UniversityClass of:
2012Hometown:
Pittsburgh, PAAt a Glance:
I'm a sophomore at Michigan State University. I'm a packaging major. I'm not particularly funny until I bottle up my emotions inside for a good two weeks and then put them out on paper. This is why my "at a glance" is not clever like everyone else's. Sorry about that.Bio:
I'm from Pittsburgh, PA and a diehard Steelers/Penguins fan. That's probably the only interesting thing about me. Oh, and people at Michigan State think it's funny when i say words like "gumband," "slippy," and "yinz." Damn that western Pennsylvanian accent.- Articles
- Comments
15 Reasons Why You're Not Attractive
By Ashley Solomon November 6, 2009
Two weekends ago, at a friend's party, I found myself in the middle of several awkward moments involving a very unattractive man. From the moment he screamed, "Hey redhead! What's yo name, redhead?!" I knew it was fate. I knew I was not going to be able to escape. After several attempts to catch my name, he tried to woo me by making very low pterodactyl noises an inch from my face. Read More »
The Gay Boyfriend Phenomenon
By Ashley Solomon July 14, 2009
Right now, all over the world, gay men are dating women. Maybe they're too afraid to come out of the closet. Maybe they aren't even aware that they in fact like men. But they are out there, and they are dating women just like you. I just so happen to be dating one myself. Read More »
Observe Every Cultural Cliché Ever: Attend a College Graduation
By Ashley Solomon May 23, 2009
After five years of grueling work, endless binge drinking, and long hours interning, my brother has graduated from a certain prestigious Midwestern engineering school. Read More »
The 10 Worst Movies Since Rebello Ripped Hollywood a New One
By Ashley Solomon May 5, 2009
In 2004, Justin Rebello wrote his list of the top 10 worst movies of all time. Hilarity ensued. Five years later, I think we can all agree there has been an overwhelming amount of terrible movies in and out of America's theaters. Read More »
Your Sidewalk Privileges are on Hold Until Further Notice
By Ashley Solomon April 17, 2009
There is nothing that can ruin a perfect day like getting ass-raped on the sidewalk on your way to class. No, not literally... perverts. It is unbelievable the number of ways in which people make the simple task of getting from Point A to Point B via sidewalk a journey of epic proportions. I'd never thought I'd see the day that actual tact was needed to follow fucking pavement. Read More »
Leggings: Destroying Women's Dignity One Camel Toe at a Time
By Ashley Solomon March 28, 2009
We've all seen it. At some point on your college campus you have encountered the girl who believes that her skin-tight leggings are a completely legitimate form of pants. I don't know who told her that a thin piece of nylon would suffice, but they were fucking wrong. Read More »
- Don't be bitter cause your - November 11th, 2009
- hahaha...that's what I'm - November 9th, 2009
- If I ever write a sequel, - November 8th, 2009
- haha i have no right to - November 7th, 2009
- Thanks guys! Gavin, I used - November 7th, 2009
- haha. shorts and uggs - October 17th, 2009
- I do have a swimsuit. But - October 14th, 2009
- Nope. Psh I'm not a - October 12th, 2009
- Awwwe. How sweet, you crave - October 12th, 2009
- Hey, at least my article is - October 9th, 2009
- This was golden. Loved it. - July 24th, 2009
- This is great. I never - July 22nd, 2009
- He's not actually gay - July 17th, 2009
- Express is a clothing store. - July 16th, 2009
- I definitely loved this. I - June 7th, 2009
- No. - May 10th, 2009
- You just ruined Indie for - May 7th, 2009
- Haha. You're correct. I - April 21st, 2009
- Hmm. Seems you have a few - April 21st, 2009
- The best you can do is tell - April 19th, 2009
- I just wanted to let you in - April 18th, 2009
- Wow. All of those are so - April 2nd, 2009
- Could I interest you in a - March 31st, 2009







