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Vernon Carter Ross

School: University of Iowa
Class of: 2013
Hometown: Portland, Oregon

At a Glance:

Is this where I write something to make you fall in love with me?

Bio:

My name is Vernon Carter Ross. I'm in Iowa now for school. Ugh.

Praise for Vernon Ross:
James Danowitz of the Chicago Sun-Times hails, "Vernon Ross is a master of his generation. The wit at which he plays with is cunning and deeply moving. If I could buy happiness I would legally adopt him as my son."

Oh stop it, James. You're making me blush.

Blog:




Sometimes I say things. Many times they are funny. Many times they are awesome.

Caligula was Right (Four Signs of the Rapeocalypse) 1 , 5.0
My Name is Joel 0 , 4.0
A Mixtape for Your Girl 0 , 5.0
How to Write a David Foster Wallace-squian Recursive Sentence 0 , 5.0
I'm a Loser, Baby; So Why Don't You Kill Me 1 , 5.0
Vernon's Tweets No. 7 - Selena Gomez 0 ,
Down and Out in Cook County 0 ,
In Which Yours Truly Interviews Alison Agosti 0 , 4.0
In Which Yours Truly Interviews Julieanne Smolinski 0 , 5.0
In Which Bret Easton Ellis Writes a Love Story 0 , 5.0
Vernon's Tweets No. 6 - Happy New Years! 0 ,
Match.com: Another Satisfied Customer 0 ,
Vernon's Tweets No. 5 - Movie Night 1 ,
Real Men Shed Tears 0 ,
Vernon's Tweets No. 4 - Never Gonna Grow Up 1 ,
Vernon's Tweets No. 3 - The Waiting Game 0 ,
Vernon's Tweets No. 2 - Life Goals 0 ,
Vernon's Tweets No. 1 - 2Pac Paradise 0 ,
Now That's What I Call Christmas! Vol. 1 0 ,
Happy Thxgiving You Nerds! 0 , 4.0
Little Window Into My Life, Folks 0 , 3.8
Let's Talk About Crying, Baby 0 , 3.0
There's a Little Truth to This Story 0 , 3.2
His Name Tag Said "Chilly Heinz" 0 , 3.0
Vernon Strikes Out 0 , 4.0
TMNT Dream Sequence 0 , 4.5
School: First Day Part I 0 , 4.0
Vernon's Breakdown of the Backstreet Boys 2 , 4.7
Vernon's Crying Game 0 , 4.3
Vernon Can't Do Accents 0 , 5.0
On "House" 7 , 3.0

Comedy Articles:


That 80's High School Party
3 comments, 4.6 stars
My best friend Winston heard that my parents would be out of town for the weekend and his eyes glazed over with one thought: PARTY. And before I knew it, the wheels were in motion.

Of All the Gas Stations in All the World
0 comments, 4.6 stars
"Hey, David," I say to the cashier manning the register at my all-time favorite gas station. I have a soft spot for gas stations for two reasons: nonjudgment and proximity.

Teen Wolf: How It Got to the Big Screen
4 comments, 4.4 stars
Felix sat down in one of the moderately expensive chairs and set his briefcase on the table in front of him. Inside was the script. Not just any script, but his life's accomplishment.

The Best Elevator Music I've Ever Heard
3 comments, 4.0 stars
I was the center of elevator attention and not in the best way. The doors opened on 17 and everyone--and I mean everyone--got out. I slumped to the floor.

Spent by the Bell
2 comments, 4.8 stars
As I exit the school I hear laughter and it reminds me of a time when we were full of promise and ambition. A time when we were invincible and nothing could bring us down.

Comments: