Hey, now, that's the call now, get your mask on, it's gas. Hey, now, you're a Prussian, don’t go blind now, go fast. It's just chlorine and bleach.
You know something is up when the Walmart coffee is unusually fresh, and the deli features sliced human flesh of "those who dare disobey us" for $4.49/lb.
After a long, hearty march to end the war, Sherman and his men were disappointed, although understanding, of the equally long, less hearty march back from the sea.
Prince Percy: "General Haggis, lovely rousing words, but I was wondering if I might also have a word with our men before the glorious fight..."
Emperor, after you rescued Poland I dreamt of riding by your side and feasting together. But now I shall destroy your empire with my babcia Grazyna's shoe clasp!
The news has grown into an entertainment feature in and of itself, and not in a "laugh at all the corpses and thank fuck that bomb didn't go off here" kind of way.
On this Veterans Day, I want to thank several veterans in particular who stood in defense of this nation, but who were often otherwise overlooked.
Some say Reagan's policies helped end the Cold War, others say the Russians just realized how hot their women were. But none of that is true.
Children. There's the siren. You know the routine. Under your desks! Be careful. The snake got loose again. Old Rattley is on the floor somewhere and bitin' mad.
Remember the Marines commercial with that asshole climbing mountains and shit, fighting dragons with a sword? Well that's a bunch of horse shit. Here's a look at the 'real' Marines.