I didn't choose to be transported to a pre-historic age, but I did choose to become the teacher of the cavemen and women once I got there. No Neanderthal left behind!
People are staring at each other, unblinkingly, completely nude. No turning away politely, just unabashedly staring. Why are we doing this? Why on earth are we here?
Come, ye lost soul. If you keep yelling for us to “Move in,” I'm positive a black hole will spontaneously erupt right above our heads.
If you have not done so already, please upload all personal information onto the Privacy Pads® you will have received en route.
Studies confirm that bearded guy in flannel, intently scribbling unintelligible poetry on the subway, has a 100% percent chance of being a complete d-bag.
Advice for easing your transition into death after choosing this dark, moody, and occasionally cost-effective alternative transportation.
If you still don't know that going through airport security means only packing liquids portioned for an American Girl doll, you don't deserve to go to the Bahamas.
It is difficult to describe the expression on a security guard’s face when you run a backpack with a 17-inch dagger through the x-ray machine.
After my 3-day, 2-night stay in "The City By the Lights," I've compiled the ultimate Insider's Guide that will have you cheering "oui oui!" just like a local!
As a reformed predator of tourists, I feel it is my duty to make amends for all of my past wrongdoings by sharing some simple tips for traveling safely.