I’m Not Like Other Girls, I’m a Reptilian Agent Sent to Destroy Humankind
I don’t dress for the male gaze. I dress to cover my biohazardous innards so no one detects I’m a heat-seeking scaled creature.
I don’t dress for the male gaze. I dress to cover my biohazardous innards so no one detects I’m a heat-seeking scaled creature.
How about some credit for processing all invoices while my boss lectured me on "eating too many microwaved oyster and pastrami sandwiches at work"?
Stadium security: It’s dangerous, wearing something that makes you look that good. Did you get all dolled up just for me, honey?
I’m smiling so big because I can’t wait to bite into these steaks. Just kidding! I’m a vegetarian but that doesn’t poll well with our target audience.
Some other work perks include unlimited time off (as long as it's spent at a beach volleyball camp) and partial reimbursement for uniform fees.
Competition makes the American dream real! But fighting to break records early in international competition while defending your title… isn’t classy.
"That ball was on the line! And the whole question of borders comes from an outmoded hermeneutic treating the nation-state as a discreet actor."
Are you adept enough to distinguish these English football stadiums from locations in Westeros and Essos?
Falling: Your subconscious is saying that you need to go back to school or enlist. You’re falling away from your stupid wakeboarding career.
What are you gonna do next, wear Vans to a fundraiser? Actually, don’t do that, I’m calling dibs, homie.
Air Max 180: You say stuff like, "The only way to be a marathon runner is to run a marathon." You've never run a marathon.
Cooking for Friends: This is just like a quick-fire challenge on Top Chef: there’s a time crunch and four people watching.