A brutally honest portrait of the man you may or may not actually want to date. Warning: includes thoughts on masturbation.
Hey Ted, I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but we are legally in a relationship now, according to my squatters rights as applicable to relationships in the State of California.
My son is sick, and he needs your help. You see, there is only one way to cure him of the disease known as virginity: you must have sex with him.
I’m sitting at work, swiping right like I have a muscle spasm and three women have gone by when I begin to ask myself, was that Megan?
I won't go into biological details, son, because that would just be awkward for both of us, but I really want you to understand that Gettin’ Down to Business is serious business.
I have standards, and I hold myself in high regard when it comes to the ethics of who's going to spit shine my three wood.
My tuxedo-clad sperm steward Rene greeted me in French and explained, “All of our top grade sperme de France is aged to perfection."
Eight planets and the actual forms of reproduction by their inhabitants, verified as authentic by Scientology Monthly and USA Today.
Valentine's Day seduction tips so that one day she may say, “Yes.” From someone who has never been in a relationship (for obvious reasons).
Why does a beautiful girl like me only have 37 friends? Because I'm selective, that's why. Just click "confirm" already.