An Impassioned Plea: Add Pictures to Your Menus
One look at a picture of pink circle meat and I can taste the salty sweetness melting into my mouth before I can even say “side ham, if you please.”
One look at a picture of pink circle meat and I can taste the salty sweetness melting into my mouth before I can even say “side ham, if you please.”
The anecdote of how you got the Sublime sun tattoo on your arm was, well, compelling, but my wife-to-be has never listened to "40 Oz. to Freedom."
I’m not sure what the hell he’s talking about, but as a practicing clinical psychologist, he probably knows something that I don’t.
And sure, the judge may say this is all “outside the scope of the trial”---but who are you gonna listen to? Me, or this fuckin' alien judge?
I can't marry you into the Dukedom of Wellington: my parents are not the Duke and Duchess of Wellington. They're the Duke and Duchess of Devonshire!
Saturday, 3 pm --- Remembering the moment where everything could have gone differently
Maybe I’ll save a kid from drowning by jumping from a bridge. A local hero, on the news...wait, no one under 70 watches the news: trend on Twitter.
But now I realize that’s actually a stupid plan and I have a new, better one: keep King Teti in this Earthly realm and also make him my boyfriend.
The President shall enjoy full immunity while patting his head and rubbing his stomach at the same time.
I will be sure to keep you updated on all the social metrics. I still care about you, and the kids (our kids), and our social media numbers.
I refuse to ghost on you like your past relationships with Blockbuster and Hollywood Video. But I fear we've reached our final act.
Sometimes, when you brew coffee I get flashbacks of how you’d sit with your feet inside me as you discussed search engine optimization.