I’m Not a Monster, I’m a Method Actor
It was not I who called her “a useless swath of dogshit,” it was, in fact, Chicago crime lord Tony Ligitano.
It was not I who called her “a useless swath of dogshit,” it was, in fact, Chicago crime lord Tony Ligitano.
I actually picked up the guitar during the pandemic and learned how to play, you guessed it, Wonderwall. I could show you now, if you had a second.
O’ empty day in the bore of my classroom. Today Miss Woolley asked me to remove my hat, and I reminded her that I will wear it as I please.
I’m going to take a beer. Man. Beeeeautiful. Nothing like a nice day– Flip that. That’s done. It’s burnt.
Hereclitus’ principle of unity in opposites can best be illustrated by the Toyota Sienna.
I don’t know if they teach conflict resolution in that school of yours these days, but I sure could use some relationship advice.
If you are offered a chance to suckle at the teat of the eldest Keebler elf, I pray you heed my warning.
The clients’ voicemails were mistakenly deleted, as the functions of the different button thingies had been forgotten.
I love how the natural light comes through the house. It gives whoever wants to break in a little sneak peek of what they’re missing you know?
A Ponzian Slip: This is when you misspeak because you are thinking more about swindling the person than the substance of the conversation.
Why do I have a safety deposit box at Epcot full of cash, character location maps, and over one hundred trading pins?
I clench my butt cheeks tightly and strut past an elderly couple, pulling on the front of a cart, sweeping it alongside my body.