What a Cloud Thinks YOU Look Like
The other day I caught up with a gaggle of humans bobbing around in a wave pool and the first thing I thought of was “flesh corks.”
The other day I caught up with a gaggle of humans bobbing around in a wave pool and the first thing I thought of was “flesh corks.”
3. List the toys/gifts/cash you received from family members other than Auntie Abigail. (Because this auntie can top whatever you got.)
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse, Although millions of microscopic mites which live in the pores of the skin will be out to feast
Q. What is Facebook? A. It’s a great place for people to connect with others who are also lonely in the suburbs.
As for the incalculable diminished commercial value you have caused us in previous years, we are willing to settle for a one-time $8 billion settlement.
International Wizarding Day of No Technology, a new celebration where Harry Potter fans don't use modern technology while we get a handle on this PR nightmare.
Just think, someone close to you took the easy way out and gifted you small quantities of randomly selected unappealing snacks.
My mom took my dad's name—and fingerprints, and mustache, and a high-resolution scan of his face with a state-of-the-art LIDAR device.
Skog thought Troll Doll craze of '80s was peak. Skog wrong. Peak time for Troll now.
I am so tired. So worn down. I don't want to fight this anymore. Please. Send me a bottle of Lavender Serenity, because it's time to give in.
I’ll go put the power washer back in the garage. No more power washing today.
I’ve been silently scorning them for years and I’m ready to take it up a notch—with a decapitated horse head and powerful pagan curses.