Your Call Is Totally Unimportant to Us
Have you tried just turning your phone off and back on again? That usually seems to work for most dumb problems like yours.
Have you tried just turning your phone off and back on again? That usually seems to work for most dumb problems like yours.
"Yeah, it’s cool, I’ll just lay here—lie here?" I’ll mutter, as you clamber out of your, I don’t know, 2012 Ford Fusion, with a Phish decal.
Whoever is driving around a 1958 Plymouth Fury and running people over, you are being very RUDE! It is LATE!
Are you sinister enough? Do you relish the insulin whiplash of your grand-twit's metabolism as he devours a Werther’s Originals from your hand?
I wouldn’t be the Prince of Darkness if I didn’t defend myself against these recent transgressions and bring the truth to light, so to speak.
Deities with this Eldritch Love Language need to hear their bound worshipers verbalize their eternal devotion, with an “I love you” of sorts.
"Shameless caffeine addiction" just doesn’t cut it. Chances are you’ve also been avoiding your first screening with a gastroenterologist.
Please don’t reopen school. I won’t be able to make it another year with those behemoths suffocating me with their skeevy, pudgy fingers.
How am I supposed to believe a real colonial woman is teaching me to churn butter, when her flawless colonial outfit is tainted by latex gloves?
$5,000 barely scratches the surface of what it’ll take to handle this problem. / Your family won’t recognize you when this is over.
I definitely don’t lay in bed motionless, hovering between sleep and wakefulness, until finally my hungry cat comes and scream-meows in my face.
Think of me as the gamma-ray to your Bruce Banner, only I give you none of the superpowers and all of the anger.