The Girl of My Dreams Was a Paid Advertisement
Our love blossomed with the speed of a carefully edited, 30-second commercial for prescription diarrhea medicine.
Our love blossomed with the speed of a carefully edited, 30-second commercial for prescription diarrhea medicine.
Could we reschedule our 3:00? A rift between this world and the next has opened in the conference room, and we can’t hear client calls over the endless torture of the damned.
Having sex with my wife. She was planning to vote for Kamala Harris and not Beto prior to their sexual encounter.
Finally a solution to your social single anxiety! "Bacchus’ Mission" delivers a man in a tiny vessel that you can toss in your freezer until a party.
Remind the IRS of simpler tax days. Create an apology collage out of all the old receipts you filed when you first entered the workforce.
Have you ever been out shopping and you try on a super-cute top and it gets stuck and you look like you’re wearing a nun costume?
Raising sons is hard. There are a lot of ways you can screw up your son and add another example of toxic masculinity to society.
HELLOOOOO! Hope you brought the peanut butter, because that my friend was a mouthwatering jam!
"I set a goal [NUMBER OF YEARS THE TEAM HAS BEEN TERRIBLE] ago and I was determined to give it [CLICHÉ FROM MOTIVATIONAL KITTEN CALENDAR]."
"Elton John™ Gets Knighted Pack" Are you prepared to meet LEGO® Queen Elizabeth II as she knights LEGO® Elton John? Enter LEGO® Buckingham Palace!
If he really needs a birthday cake, make him an energy-boosting quinoa and oatmeal cake with sample questions from the LSAT written in marzipan.
This contraption will gyrate you vigorously while asking you about sense-certainty, the super-sensible, and collective consciousness.