Sharp-Dressed John Doe v. ZZ Top
By all accounts, my client satisfied the legal definition of a sharp dressed man. And yet, the ladies did not come a-runnin' just as fast as they can.
By all accounts, my client satisfied the legal definition of a sharp dressed man. And yet, the ladies did not come a-runnin' just as fast as they can.
I’m never totally sure what rises to the occasion of repentance, but I get the distinct feeling most things do?
1:37 PM: Host will say that, “things should get cooking here in about 5 minutes!” This will be torture and will leave you craving a cheeseburger.
I don’t dress for the male gaze. I dress to cover my biohazardous innards so no one detects I’m a heat-seeking scaled creature.
What’s the point of locating a family to scare and waiting under a bed, if when I crawl out to scare the kid, they’re not even in there?
Dad’s old tennis sneakers: You dated him in college when he wore these sneakers and you seemed to like them just fine back then.
Gaze upon the glory of my cover of “Seven Nation Army.” Observe the light of my own original songs, which sound exactly like “Seven Nation Army.”
Jason was kind of pissed that I spilled his hot sauce all over myself, but that’s why I wore an apron!
Must have a very strong bladder. We don't have many public restrooms here in Hell, and you will almost certainly have to wait in line.
"We have orders from the city to remove that thing from your property. Effective immediately.” He pointed toward the Inflatable Wacky Tube Man.
Do neckerchiefs not itch against your perfect scruff? Who decides that your face fur should stay at a golden quarter inch?
The Google Maps user demands options, from dangling the man above a pack of wild dogs, to launching him across the Bering Strait in a slingshot.