Remember, every log you place on the fire would undoubtedly be screaming if it had a voice.
Janine, love of my life, woman of my dreams, hired a ball grabber for me. I didn't even know those women existed until I met her.
We at the NYT are thrilled to provide a forum for Our Lord to share His divine wisdom, advice and insight into the people and events that have shaped history.
All DNA and RNA on Earth arrived via meteorites and comets. Here are the strange origins of some of the familiar things around us.
"My head is too big to fit into women's frames," I told the eyecare associate. "But it’s still not big enough to break the glass ceiling."
So you burnt your weiner and almost burned down your kitchen. Perfect time to learn how to cope with life's tragedies.
I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that no one gets on the subway to make friends. Go away, Overly Social Dude.
Kids need to learn that the old school tactics of not killing a person, but killing their will to live, is much safer and rewarding.
Monks used to represent every lifestyle I could only dream about and deride myself for being too unfocused to embrace. Now I just feel bad for extreme lifestyle people.
Have you ever thought to yourself, “Why do I have to die?” Well, let me be the first to tell you that you’re not alone in your morbid fascination with your own mortality.