To become a cognitively engaged multitasker , you must eventually be able to drink beer, watch porn, cry, and masturbate while realizing you're not lonely.
Eight planets and the actual forms of reproduction by their inhabitants, verified as authentic by Scientology Monthly and USA Today.
Some nights I lie awake, wondering, is my son a nancy ass? Now, I fear the worst?: that he harbors dreams of a future in social work.
I have a confession to make: I'm the man behind the Incredible Hulk. But I've gotten older and my angry shenanigans have become tiresome over the years.
Hello, it is me, your unholy host! I am here to answer the questions of the living, the dead, and the undead. Call in now while the moon is still full and the sun is yet to rise…
My kids look at me and feel empathy for my plight but relief that the task is not theirs. I'm going all the way into the residential abyss.
What juvenile fun we had competing for the same man's attention while he was my boyfriend. A game of cat and mouse indeed, as you called it.
As you get older, more of your acquaintances will die, and you'll get better at saying the right things in public. But the first time it happens, it's a little awkward.
Where was I? How high is high? Why was I sitting there? Had I been sleeping the whole time? Is all of life a dream, as Descartes once suggested?
When you’re young, life gives you promise and hope, maybe even "love" in your heart, At this point, you must realize that your feelings mean nothing.