An Open Letter to My Roomba That I Haven’t Seen in Five Days
It’s water under the bridge, just like when you’ve lodged yourself under my couch, even when you overheated and almost set my apartment on fire.
It’s water under the bridge, just like when you’ve lodged yourself under my couch, even when you overheated and almost set my apartment on fire.
Today's Top Posts: what's with all the fireworks? / Please use less lighter fluid / Little Library burned / Home Swim Lessons / Free Aloe!!
I plan to hit the ground running, and then run some more, and then more, then hit a wall, and then puke on your open laptop.
A poorly installed backsplash could actually DECREASE the value of my home, but did Rick Allen hire some “licensed professional” to do his drumming?
Due to a disputed public executioner election, political lawn signs are no longer permitted. No decorative flamingos, gnomes, or heads on pikes.
Is it "The Count of Monte Cristo" that solves this dreadful riddle? Surely a subtle nod to enclosed spaces will do it…. No.
I’ve stayed in touch with friends by… A) Hosting non-alcoholic Zoom happy hours. B) FaceTiming an ex at 2AM. C) Spitting peas at my chum’s window.
Phrases evoking imagery of a well-powered cabin like, “pedal like my kitchen appliances depended on it,” could be a huge red flag.
If you happen to hear chanting outside of quiet hours, please do not respond by screaming out, “You call that chanting? I’ll show you chanting!”
Painting that house took a lot of effort and expense. Despite all I went through to realize an artistic vision, that client has refused to pay.
We’ve worked everything out with our mediator, Coffee Table. You can sit with me, Loveseat, on weeknights and with Chaise for naps on weekends.
I acknowledge that I can change my sweatpants if I want to or I can wear the same ones every day forever and only I have the power to choose.