Nothing Says Fourth of July like Hellmann’s New Strawberry-Flavored Mayonnaise
Strawberry Mayonnaise Daiquiris: Sounds terrible, right? The first few are, but I’m on my third one now and I can’t even taste them anymore.
Strawberry Mayonnaise Daiquiris: Sounds terrible, right? The first few are, but I’m on my third one now and I can’t even taste them anymore.
As a real American bird, I’m going to get down on the ground and fight a sewer rat for half of a discarded Chalupa.
[BOOM BOOM] “U-S-A! U-S-A!” [BOOM] “Do you ever wonder what would happen if everyone got sick all at once, though? [BOOM] "What?"
Fatherhood brings out the best in a man. / Stepfatherhood brings gas station flowers.
Nothing says “Don’t sacrifice me!” like breakfast in bed. An omelet and fresh coffee is the perfect way to warm Dad up to the idea of sparing you.
The Bridge on the River Kwai – Your dad thinks you should stand up to your boss at work. You say he’s a fathead, right?
Surprise him by mowing the lawn. Devastate him by ignoring mowing best practices and race around in a pattern as erratic as his spiking heart rate.
I am growing a long-white beard at a scary rapid pace! Uh-oh looks like someone might have the case of being magically transformed into St. Nick!
The Time-Out - Take a break from spanking your husband to go spank your children for not doing the dishes.
Shaggy interrupts Jesus to say that he is just like him: he doesn’t have bones, but rather, Scooby Snacks shaped like bones.
Karpas --- Eating the Green Vegetable: Is this the first vegetable you’ve had all month? We raised you better than to eat all that junk food.
One especially pleasing development is how Grandpa has started taking responsibility for his actions.