The Person Who Asks If You’re About to Cry
Cheryl senses my sadness/frustration/anger/anything-cry-worthy-even-if-it’s-just-a-movie and will suddenly be on my doorstep with brownies in hand.
Cheryl senses my sadness/frustration/anger/anything-cry-worthy-even-if-it’s-just-a-movie and will suddenly be on my doorstep with brownies in hand.
Then right on cue, the whole complex became a mashup of Duck Soup: Mrs. Tyndale burst out of her door singing what sounded like some sort of aria.
Diamonds might be a girl’s best friend, but a heart-shaped blurry photo on printer paper is her other best friend.
Adjusting the height of my desk chair is my therapy. Nothing says self-care like taking small measures to prevent repetitive strain injury.
Have you suffered a fall from a tower, leaving you hobbled and with a third eye? Try a few drops of ginger, basil, or turmeric for bone health.
What are you gonna do next, wear Vans to a fundraiser? Actually, don’t do that, I’m calling dibs, homie.
February 17, 2019: Gronk asked to leave goat yoga after try spike goat into ground. Gronk totally relaxed and just wanted to do end zone celebration.
I also have a picture of the two of us on my phone so you know exactly how similar we look.
Where are all the people who keep saying you look like Dr. Evil? Who cares! You have to survive a -40 degree blizzard by finding a cave to sleep in!
“Quierrro ceviche,” I purr and raise an eyebrow. “Ok, one ceviche coming right up,” He responds in English. Haha! He’s fun and must stop flirting!
I only had one thing a female jail junkie would want: A bobby pin. Tiffany’s eyes widened with excitement and offered food.
Things got worse after I said my favorite R.E.M. song was “Shiny Happy People.” He got so angry that I thought his slim body was going to overheat.