Police Officer or Chipotle Employee?
Which of the following pieces of equipment can be carried off-duty by employees and even concealed? A) Avocado Masher B) SIG Sauer P320 Pistol
Which of the following pieces of equipment can be carried off-duty by employees and even concealed? A) Avocado Masher B) SIG Sauer P320 Pistol
Remove your hot tart halves from the toaster. Do not use oven mitts or hand coverings. The tarts will be exceptionally brittle.
My operating system may look like it could run on a Fisher-Price, but don't be fooled by the over-sized print or intuitive icons. I am a UX terror.
And your chicken nuggets are shaped like Shrek. How old are these things? They haven’t promoted a Shrek movie since 2010.
Homemade cookies are easier than you realize, and so is purchasing my grandmother’s farm. We don’t even need to go through any lawyers or anything.
At each Morpheats location, you're welcomed into a cyberpunk dystopia by a pleather-clad “Matrix d’” who takes you to your virtual table.
Oh, you didn’t think I was a "real" doctor? Having your Ph.D. is nothing to scoff at. And I have two.
Hi, acquaintance from college! Last time I heard from you was in a gun control debate on my Facebook page!
A Pair of Cantaloupes: Honestly I wasn’t going to say anything because it’s 2020, but come the fuck on cantaloupe.
Oreos: So your kids are begging for America's favorite cookie? Lucky for you it couldn't be easier. First, begin by grabbing your titanium dioxide.
So why is Potbelly keeping your hard-earned taxpayer money? Because you all will fucking forget the second you’re allowed outside, that’s why.
You could try to explain bronze die-cut milling and how it creates a unique texture for holding sauce better, but there’s no need. Susan left you.