Due to the Pandemic, Our Hook-Handed Killers Will Now Be Terrorizing Teens Remotely
We will no longer attend and slaughter gatherings of more than 500 people. We will be sanitizing our hooks daily, and of course after each murder.
We will no longer attend and slaughter gatherings of more than 500 people. We will be sanitizing our hooks daily, and of course after each murder.
"There is but one truly serious philosophical problem, and that is Godzilla." –Albert Camus / "I came. I saw Godzilla. I ran away." –Julius Caesar
"A badass mama protects her child! Your belly will be full of pilates-toned gristle and blond hair after you’ve mauled Cassie from your mom group."
The 2 things I love most are corduroys with ridges so deep that you can slide a can of Coors Light in there, and making sure my son thinks I’m cool.
We were thrilled to see that Peepaw had seized the opportunity for a new lease on life, by using the shiny, porcelain figurine "Pete Buttigieg."
Panko-Crusted Billionaire with a Brown Sugar Sweet Potato Souffle / Blueberry Muffins with Dark Truths about the Upper Class Chocolate Chips
Measles, schmeasles... which is actually a new form of measles.
Stay on Schedule - If you're a morning person, kill in the morning. If you're a night person, kill at night. Find a schedule and stick to it.
People ask why I need the world’s most powerful artificial intelligence to manufacture a simple product. Obviously, those people aren’t businessmen.
With so many murders happening each year, it’s extremely difficult to develop and sustain a calling card that’s distinct.
Is there a balcony where I can easily repledge my devotion to my true love? There simply must be a balcony.
Gather your family and friends in a Wi-Fi-less underground shelter and give them an envelope disclosing which part of the Andes you’ll be hiding in.