Are You Being Tortured by a Drug Cartel or Getting Invisalign?
$5,000 barely scratches the surface of what it’ll take to handle this problem. / Your family won’t recognize you when this is over.
$5,000 barely scratches the surface of what it’ll take to handle this problem. / Your family won’t recognize you when this is over.
Paul’s Empty Advil Container That He Repurposed to Hide His State Quarters: Cast the pill bottle aside and fill your pockets with the beautiful coins.
Despite everything I do, the only thing anyone can remember is a rumor that I mistook chicken poop for Runts candy.
Have experience with peaceful protesting but want to take it to the NEXT LEVEL? Often described as "the last person someone would suspect of being a criminal"?
We will ensure the bear sits through an hour of sensitivity training that contradicts the lifetime of violent impulses it has acquired.
If anyone’s screen-sharing with a cop, it won’t be long until you’re keeping six feet away from the living. Screen-sharers are dead to me.
Once we're done, we'll untie them so they can bring you the latest in electric cars and a look at the banjo quartet releasing a Wu-Tang cover album.
NotJeff: This password is great for anyone not named Jeff. Again though, please don’t actually use this password since it is on this list.
I have a team of techs going over every inch of your apartment. I also know we could find so many hilarious props around here.
You’ve got guts settin' foot on my turf. But if youse keep coming around, you’ll be the one with the instruction manual on how to piece you together.
You’re gonna want a place near bars, delis, and neighborhood laundromats. These are full of characters who will be furiously vague witnesses.
Let all your worries, cares, and worldly possessions flow away from your body… and into a rental truck parked outside...