The first thing you'll experience with the Emperor is "The Big Red Bang," in which your initial unwrapping of the plastic results in a rapid expansion of microsuede.
Tag: Court Jesting
Thank you kindly for the invitation to your Friday soiree. It is with deepest apologies, soberest regret, and widest emotions that I must decline, however.
There's something else I've been meaning to address, and that's the American Public. I mean, whatta you have to do to get an audience around here, run for president?
In lieu of tipping or dealing with the implied shame of not tipping the bathroom attendant at a strip club, a lot of guys will choose to just NOT wash their hands. Not me.
Julian Asange recounts his intense drug trip at a college dubstep show, as well as his experience coming all over a girl who was already passed out.
Heather Linn was finishing her junior year at Northlake High School in 1988. Little does she know, I've seen (and contributed to) her juicy little yearbook secrets.
If you're an Iranian citizen, and you ever wanted proof that your country is struggling economically, or led by wacky dudes, the US drone photos are just what you've been waiting for!
In my Blackberry text messages, it shows a snippet of the latest text in the convo. Below are the last 20 or so people I've messaged, and the latest text (either from me or the other person).
I bought liquor for two high school guys at a concert the other day, my first experience giving back to the underage alcoholic community I was once a member of.
Why is it that chicks refuse to turn off the faucet while they brush their teeth? Every one of my girlfriends has insisted on turning on the water full blast the entire time they brush.