An Excerpt “From the Campaign Trail or Thereabouts”
Standing on his tiptoes, he craned over their hunched heads, hoping to get a glimpse of the candidates.
Standing on his tiptoes, he craned over their hunched heads, hoping to get a glimpse of the candidates.
Smoke salvia out of sister's vacuum cleaner. Land a kickflip in the middle of the woods with nobody around, next to a fallen tree.
No one else in this house has to be a Morning Person other than the Wake-Up Fairy! Isn’t that great? And now it’s time to get ready for school.
And when I turned to find you, you were gone. How is that even possible? How could I fail to notice your location or distinguishing features?
1. Sept 5, 2000 - The Band One / Identifying Marks: Your HS boyfriend’s crappy ska band logo. / Acquired From: Back seat of said boyfriend’s POS car.
1. August 8, 1996 - The Maroon One / Identifying Marks: Band logo on the front. / Missing From: Back seat of your POS first car.
Our relationship was mutually beneficial: I gave him a son—Yngvar—and he told me my dress wasn’t “too Coachella.”
Grandpa would have appreciated that I identified the lighting near the casket as the best to showcase my stunning collection of floral maxi skirts.
If you’ve timed it right, you will be dead before you hit the floor. Your death will look like that of a hero defending the store from a shoplifter.
Provide your real name. Slappy, Mr. Chuckles, Giggle Master, Miss Jiggles-a-Lot, and Happy Pappy are not legal names we recognize.
Don't ask loudly and rhetorically "See why I divorced her?" of the shoppers gaping at your unholy hissyfit over her congenital tardiness.
Dad’s old tennis sneakers: You dated him in college when he wore these sneakers and you seemed to like them just fine back then.