Advice to Humans from Extinct Species
Sea Mink: “Know your strengths, what others see and desire in you, and then hide or remove those strengths so that they don’t kill you for them.”
Sea Mink: “Know your strengths, what others see and desire in you, and then hide or remove those strengths so that they don’t kill you for them.”
“Do we even know if the parents adopted this puppy? What if they stole it? Is this baby even theirs? You can’t believe everything you read online!!”
Dog: Thanksgiving took a while to understand, but I’ve got it now. It starts when you’re locked outside because no one can deal with you today.
Dining Room Swear Jar: $1 Dark Corner Of The Attic Swear Jar: $57 Home Office Swear Jar: $0
No need for crates or kennels. Your wasp will gather creepy residues from the shadows of your home and construct a lair for itself, all on its own.
"Pups Go Camping" - The PAW Patrol round-up protestors, immigrants, and intellectuals to take to a mandatory camp in the woods.
How would you feel if, every time someone wanted to address one of these problems, they used you as the reason?
I spend most of my time trying to escape the room so I don’t have to listen, but the door is always closed.
"Yeah, it’s cool, I’ll just lay here—lie here?" I’ll mutter, as you clamber out of your, I don’t know, 2012 Ford Fusion, with a Phish decal.
It doesn’t get more local than illegal reptiles for sale in your neighborhood, now does it? At least you know that they’re telling you the truth.
Any establishment that denies me entry because I have twenty-seven thousand honeybees swarming on his face has no regard for personal freedom.
In retrospect, perhaps I shouldn’t have loudly invited every member of staff to come watch me “roast this bird” at tic-tac-toe.