An Open Letter to the Guy Who Receives Self-Help Tips from the Pornhub Comment Section
We sympathize that you've lost “thousands of comments I need to get through the daily existential dread,” we have a moral obligation to protect our users.
We sympathize that you've lost “thousands of comments I need to get through the daily existential dread,” we have a moral obligation to protect our users.
She has experienced the perfect amount of sexual oppression and shame to properly teach your daughters about their growing bodies.
De Beauvoir and Goethe for the cottagecore lesbian desperately in love with her best friend. Byron and Žižek for the pervert with a heart of gold.
With so much laughter and Vicodin flooding the streets during the daylight hours, powerful dream beasts emerge to rule the night.
Joe takes me out onto the balcony, places his strong, soft hands on my cheeks and whispers softly in my ear, “Amtrak.” We make love under the moon.
Can you introduce me to any shadowy figures who run the government here?
An alluring smile crossing his lips, he presses down, gently, on the button under his desk. Slowly, seductively, his desk rises to standing height.
Unfortunately, even if I found the perfect pair of running shoes and I was the fastest man in the world, I wouldn’t be able to outrun the truth.
I watch other people do it: strangers in masks screaming at non-maskers in public places.
I have to leave you, because an appreciable amount of a chemical compound that smells like feces has been detected in Venus’ upper atmosphere.
It's like you knew the key to my heart was a deep appreciation for long naked walks on the beach and Adobe Creative Suite.
The pieces titled "The Clitoris: Nub of Joy!" for Healthy Lady Magazine and "The Ford F-150: Trucks Rule!" for Automotive Life will be one piece.