Letters From a Shakesperean Manic Pixie Dream Girl
What can I say? Sometimes I feel like one of the fellows. After all, I’d rather have a turkey leg and mead than vegetables from the garden any day.
What can I say? Sometimes I feel like one of the fellows. After all, I’d rather have a turkey leg and mead than vegetables from the garden any day.
Colonel Mustard and Professor Plum: There never was a murder, these two just needed to get away from their bridge club to whisper sweet nothings.
Recently my partner, a 1991 Diesel, has started abruptly switching tracks during our intimate time. What do I do?
I was unable to tell if it was the machine or I who was screaming as I was jostled unpleasantly amid black smoke and splattering whale jelly.
The forces of nature want us to be together until we die or I get bored, and here "forces of nature" means things I deliberately orchestrated.
"They love dirt" At first, it was sweet. "They really care about the Earth," you thought. But now you can't tear them away from the stuff.
Is it really necessary to go through the garbage can? Yes, I see the notes you’ve found. They’re also from my mother.
You can’t even invite people over to your disgusting apartment? Jorge has a beautiful apartment and he doesn’t share it with four “artists.”
Me, get into bed on my own? No, I simply must be picked up and tossed like a doll before unleashing these surprisingly-supple breasts!
Apparently, we were supposed to defend against an incoming force. But what were we supposed to do, not go party? Saturdays are for the boys!
When my girlfriend tried to talk with my son, he kept referring to her as “replacement mommy” while jumping up and down pretending to be Peter Rabbit.
You can bet that Alfonso Cuaron is winning Best Director for Roma. It’s as plain as the socks that are still on my feet, babe.