In Defense of Gap Years… Unless You Want to Hire Me
A gap year will help to make me the man I want to be. Unless you are planning to hire me, in which case: STOP READING. GIVE ME THE JOB.
A gap year will help to make me the man I want to be. Unless you are planning to hire me, in which case: STOP READING. GIVE ME THE JOB.
We know you opened us with the best of intentions but let’s be honest, if you haven’t read us by now you never will.
2020 was one of the most exciting years in hornet history, as we continued our westward expansion into North America.
Compared to 2020’s real-life plague, threat of fascist coup, and so on, your work has suffered from a lack of terrifying imagination.
These last ten months of social distancing, mask-wearing, and air-hugging have to have been especially tough on extroverts.
Every Chanukah for the past seven years she kept telling you she doesn't want you to buy her anything, with “BUY” and “THING” in air quotes.
Does this mean Santa's Workshop will close? Santa's Workshop will live on as a digital storefront competing with hundreds of counterfeiters.
You and I both know what I’ve been up to, and it isn’t putting me on anyone’s good list.
I know it’s cold and you warm-blooded, furless, pansies are sensitive, but is it too much to ask for someone to say, “I’m SO excited for Winter!”
Satan simply would not take no for an answer—which means that this year, our mall will feature Satan’s Village.
If I could point a finger, I would blame Microsoft. There’s no amount of Christmas magic that could help me understand Microsoft Outlook.
I’m disappointed that after our four-message exchange about how our weekends went, you haven’t proposed. It’s been almost a year, after all.