Why My Girlfriend Should Consider Buying Chocolate Advent Calendars Again
I promise no more pretending the calendar’s a ventriloquist dummy with Jersey accent when I have my fingers inside Santa’s slot.
I promise no more pretending the calendar’s a ventriloquist dummy with Jersey accent when I have my fingers inside Santa’s slot.
Believers, tonight I bring you good news of unlimited talk and text to the Creator of the universe, powered by America’s best 5G network.
Did signal his phone screen had fallen and cracked And thus with a shudder, he swallowed his pride And off to the Whovilleplex Mall did he ride
The Multi-Millionaire: They have it all. The husband, the mansion, the coke addiction. What could you, their friend in low places, get them?
Our eldest son, who fancies himself an art dealer of dick pics, has found his avocation stuffing pimentos into green olives. Someone's gotta do it.
In Who-ville, critical thinking is not valued as a trait. No, rumor and hearsay are given far more weight.
It pains me to think that the childhood I’ve carefully constructed for Trevin could come crashing down, all due to the ramifications of your bullying.
My mom mailed me back my matching pajama set with a note, “Don’t bother wearing our family Christmas pajamas unless you ask for something fun."
Season 1, Episode 45 - Raiders of the Lost Harp: When Uncle Scrooge Bemoans That All His Riches Cannot Afford Him a Seat in God’s Kingdom
Flaky GPS will accidentally lead him to shithole town’s all too familiar old bar, where he'll bump into the one that got away.
I noticed that you already posted those vacation photos online, but the evidence of just how wealthy your family is magneted to my fridge is a treat!
Enjoy this quaint seasonal attraction while skillfully dodging pesky shop attendants!