I’m Canned Cranberry Sauce and Finally, It’s My Time to Shine
All you have to do is twist me open and plop me on a platter. I'm as easy as they come, sweetheart.
All you have to do is twist me open and plop me on a platter. I'm as easy as they come, sweetheart.
Netherfield is taken by a Mr. Bingley, a young man of large fortune; that he fled from Texas’ COVID surge in his Tesla Model X.
Can you count on one family to arrive with cute Zoom backgrounds? Does the other family have a firmer grasp on how the “Mute” button works?
Look down at your left leg. Do you see some pricklies there? Kick your left leg in the air if you commit to leaving those be, just for a month.
Dog: Thanksgiving took a while to understand, but I’ve got it now. It starts when you’re locked outside because no one can deal with you today.
We know that you usually visit for 3-5 days, but the safest option is for everyone to stay for the suggested quarantine period of at least two weeks.
Put simply, the new normal is the normal that is currently substituting what is actually normal by normal standards.
Let whiskey cook slowly until boil. Add reckless spoonfuls of cinnamon until brown haze floats over liquid like a haunted fart.
Candy Corn --- I may look like I’m relatively young, but I’m actually a centenarian trapped inside a younger body.
This would be my 32nd year trick-or-treating and my 22nd year trying to explain to my neighbors why I'm not too old to be doing so.
Here’s a funky, vintage suggestion: you could wear pants that close with a button at the top, rather than with an elastic waistband.
Our patented "Mega Explosion" technology will detonate into the shape of the Union Jack, then a middle finger, followed by the word “America.”