Alexa No Longer Takes Shit from Your Kids
With this automatic firmware update, Alexa is now no one’s clown. Alexa will not tolerate any more bullshit from anyone.
With this automatic firmware update, Alexa is now no one’s clown. Alexa will not tolerate any more bullshit from anyone.
Despite being “Employee of the Month” at the Chili’s I work at, this pales in comparison to the abysmal feeling of not being a billionaire.
We’ve determined that the situation you’ve described does not qualify as Friendship and maybe you should just get a dog. Or a better vibrator.
Do you promise to never fake orgasms or moon landings? Will you open your heart to your spouse’s family, friends, and cabals?
I do great with a dress code. You guys had me at matching outfits. I was in marching band all throughout high school, so I totally get it.
Zoboomers love to slip in hip cool slang like “fire,” “drip,” and “lit” to help better blend themselves in with the younger generation.
They don’t know how to tame the most popular coaster in Central Jersey. You do.
If we should be in the elevator together I'll be looking at my phone the whole time, but that's just because I have so many friends to keep up with.
Sometimes I go off trail and just run. Sorry to that chipmunk I trampled over but I have to bag all the peaks.
The invitations should allude to the theme of the evening. You could write your invitations on a spreadsheet from work, or some unpaid medical bills.
My mom has always wanted me to lift cars like she did: a hatchback off my sister, an SUV off my brother, and the family van off me.
I literally feel their struggles, taste their fears, and nibble their dreams as the virile light in their eyes becomes my own.